The last England striker to place the ball on the penalty spot at Wembley knowing he was about to draw level with the great Sir Bobby Charlton was Gary Lineker against Brazil, way back when.
He was a mere 18-yards from scoring his 49th goal in an England shirt and Lineker, well he didn’t miss penalties did he?
Well, sometimes he did – and Lineker’s effort against the South American giants is firmly filed under ‘Panenkas gone wrong’ as he completely fluffed his lines.
Lineker never scored for England again and saw his career end being subbed off for Alan Smith of Arsenal at Euro 92, with Graham Taylor’s side desperately needing a goal.
Fast forward a few decades and another Tottenham striker found himself in the same position. Armband on, meaningless friendly underway, club side going nowhere. All Kane needed was an impending transfer to Japan and a pundit gig on Match of the Day lined up and it could have been 1992 all over again.
Like Lineker, Kane doesn’t miss penalties and he dispatched this one in the way many of us wished Lineker had done all those years before.
It was a night of records – the 2-1 win over Switzerland was England’s 300th on home soil. It was Kane’s 100th scored penalty of his career. It moved him to joint-second in the all-time list, just four behind Wayne Rooney.
Is that enough about trying to make Saturday’s match have some kind of relevance in the football world?Â
Jeez, you need more? OK, how about Crystal Palace having three players on the pitch for about three seconds as Tyrick Mitchell came on just as Conor Gallagher was departing for someone else? Has that ever happened before? Can anyone be bothered to find out?
Alright, alright – there was maybe some value in seeing Gallagher look very bright in an England shirt and that might just get him a place on the plane to Qatar. Kyle Walker-Peters did nothing wrong and could find himself being the modern-day Gary Stevens to Gary Stevens in Mexico 86. Except he won’t as that would mean Trent, Trippier, Reece James etc have all not made the trip and Kyle Walker is the first-choice right-back.Â
Jordan Pickford took the opportunity to make sure that number one spot remains his to lose in Aaron Ramsey’s absence whilst England’s back three did nothing to suggest Southgate shouldn’t be going four at the back in the World Cup.
At the end of the day, none of it came close to Gareth Bale’s double taking Wales to just 90 minutes short of their first World Cup since 1958. A parasite in the eyes of Marca he maybe, but not many parasites can rock up and curl a free-kick like that top bins. Thanks for the four Champions Leagues, Gareth. It’s almost as if they don’t like him in Spain.
Scotland would have beaten Poland had it not been for a very friendly penalty being given and Ireland drew 2-2 with Belgium which is probably quite impressive.
Two of the bigger foot races took significant paces forward in the week. Ajax’s Erik ten Hag must have interviewed better than he did at Tottenham as he is now believed to be the front-runner for the Manchester United gig. Ten Hag is said to be surprised a contract hasn’t been offered already seeing that he is (a) keen and (b) available for nothing despite having a contract elsewhere.
And at Stamford Bridge, four bidders remain in the running to take over Chelsea. Whether John Terry and some cartoon apes are actually going to be involved remains to be seen.
Given the lack of proper football to mock, it’s over to the transfer rumours to see us home this week.
Arsenal want Marcus Rashford who is looking increasingly like he could be the next Danny Welbeck – leaving United in hope of a better life at the Emirates, only to end up at Watford and Brighton further down the line.
Arteta is also circling around Everton’s Dominic Calvert-Lewin, a player Frank Lampard is said to be ready to cash in on. Either that, or DLC has made it very clear he doesn’t fancy a stint in the Championship.
Staying with the Gunners, they are prepared to battle it out with United for Leicester’s Youri Tielemans who is a player I am completely 50/50 on whether he will improve by going bigger than Leicester or end up on the scrap heap having left a tidy little gig at the King Power.
Harry Winks might have got himself a nickname of Antonio Conte, but the Italian is prepared to let Winksy go in the summer – alerting Crystal Palace and Southampton.
Erling Haaland has turned down Man City’s first mega-bucks offer – this one will run and run. Barcelona have said they won’t put the club in financial danger by trying to sign the striker – presumably because they are already in financial danger and still hoping to sign Mo Salah. Oh, and Robert Lewandowski.
Burnley wanted to get Victor Moses out of Russia, but the Premier League said no – which answers the obvious question of ‘whatever happened to Victor Moses?’
Fulham are already preparing for a Premier League relegation battle next season, so want to sign Burnley’s Nick Pope.
PSG would like to sign Leeds’ bright light Raphinha – which is a shame as Raphinha had such a promising career ahead of him. They’re also in for Wolves’ Pedro Neto – please refer to my previous comment.
They would still like to sign Paul Pogba as well, which feels like a much better fit.
Newcastle didn’t spend as much as they would have liked in January so are ready to go again – they’re hoping Eddie Howe has done enough to show Sven Botman that they are a proper football team now and also fancy Darwin Nunez from Benfica.
Oh, and George Clooney wants to buy Derby – move along, nothing to see here.
