Today's Tales

The last England striker to place the ball on the penalty spot at Wembley knowing he was about to draw...

Football entered a funny time this week - no, not a time where Chelsea were rumoured to have to take...

Just a quiet week in the Premier League, then. Nothing really to write about this week. Minimal drama both on...

Forget the title race, it’s still over - the drunken stumble to 4th place is where the upper-end interest now...

Pretty much ever since 2003, we’ve wondered what would happen to Chelsea if Roman ever decided to hand the club...

Another weekend of Premier League football has been and gone, physically untouched by Storm Eunice but with the weather leaving...

You don’t get the feeling CR7 and Ralf Rangnick will be whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears this Valentine’s...

Back to the magic of the FA Cup then - full of giant killings, upsets, shocks and more. Except, of...

Finally, a gap in the football calendar I can get on board with. I must admit, when I realised that...

Another week passes us by in football and not much has changed. Sure, we’ve had drones, concussion subs, floodlights going...

Finally! Write this date down, folks. You may wish to refer to it in the future when the conversation strikes...

Well, it’s a good thing Newcastle United are taking the FA Cup seriously under the new ownership, isn’t it? Under...

And welcome to the Premier League in 2022. Not much has changed - Man City are still running away with...

Hang on, what day is it? I do find this time of year stupidly confusing. I think we are about...

Well, it didn’t quite match the much-fabled Boxing Day of 1963 but there were plenty of goals shared around on...

Readers, as you can imagine, I tried to get today’s column called off due to so many matches being unavailable...

Well, they say the top teams get those big decisions, don’t they? The top three teams in the Premier League...

Well, it certainly wasn’t a slow waltz but it certainly wasn’t rock’n’roll either. Ralf Ragnick’s Manchester United debut was more...

The festive period must be soon upon us as we were treated to a full midweek programme of proper Premier...

Whisper it quietly, but have Manchester United actually made a good decision? No, no - not sacking Ole. That’s last...

It was a sad, sad day on Merseyside as well as the blue half of Manchester. At least nobody could...

Well folks, who’d have thought it? Three managers sacked in the Premier League since we last spoke and none of...

Folks, as we slide into November’s DMs it is the time of year where I typically owe a few football...

“To never really be wanted, to feel that people wanted me to fail, to read people constantly saying I would...

EVERYONE! Jurgey-lad would like to know if there is any better footballer in the world right now than Mo Salah....

Well, it is not often I open a column with the blaring statement of “thank goodness for Newcastle United”, I...

Well, folks - who had seven matches in the First Manager To Get Sacked This Season Sweepstake? Before the season...

Oh, Thomas. You didn’t really think you could try the exact same approach four times in a row and Peppy...

Football woke up to some sad news on Sunday morning following the death of Jimmy Greaves, the former footballer-turned-broadcaster. As...

As managers up and down the country waited to see whether they could pick their non-Argentinian South American players, there...

Well, as we always say at this point in the season, there’s nothing like an international break to kill a...

You lot should be grateful this week, you really should. The newspaper that publishes this rubbish every week asked me...

And in a flash, it has gone - the second week of Premier League action disappears as quickly as it...

Well, would you look at that - a new Premier League season. Not a lot has changed, really - Mo...

To be fair, I was tempted to ‘do a Harry Kane’ and not show up today but then I realised...

Can you smell it, folks? That’s the sweet scent of the Premier League season closing in and money being burned...

Right then, folks - get comfortable because we have a lot to get through today. All the rumour-creators are back...

A week without actual football has now passed us by because, as ever, we do not count preseason friendlies as...

Well, there goes England’s 100% record in major finals on home turf then. The Euro 2020 adventure is over -...

Unless you were lucky enough or old enough to be around when the English football team last won something (1966,...

This Euro 2020 thing only really gets going on Tuesday, right? The small matter of England, oh so conveniently at...

Ah, the joys of England at a major football tournament - how I have missed it. Hot off the heels...

So, in Gareth in we trust, right? It didn’t look quite like that after England’s starting XI was leaked online...

England, England, England - we’ve been here before, haven’t we? Not quite good enough to convince me we might win...

Well, it wasn’t a bad weekend for west London, was it? A week, let alone a weekend, is a long...

You have to applaud Tottenham Hotspur FC, really. They had us going there, I almost thought they were going to...

Ah, the business end of the season where we start searching for some remaining business to make the footballing weekends...

Oh, Sergio. No. No, no, no, no. As Gary Lineker’s media team succinctly tweeted, what kind of idiot tries to...

Well, you have to applaud the Manchester United fans. The players have been unable to stop City winning the title...

Editor: “Don’t forget to keep the word count to around 1250 words, please. You know the readers don’t want too...