The Football Pink

  • The Shop
  • The Magazine
  • Interviews
  • Current
  • Nostalgia
  • Legends
  • European
  • World
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • Profile
  • Log in
  • Subscribe
Menu
  • The Shop
  • The Magazine
  • Interviews
  • Current
  • Nostalgia
  • Legends
  • European
  • World
  • About
  • Contact Us
  • Profile
  • Log in
  • Subscribe
Home Current

Football – sanctuary, solace, happiness

Pink by Pink
January 13, 2021
in Current

exc-5bd1867c53450ab312b22852

47
SHARES
392
VIEWS
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

MARK CARRUTHERS explains what football means to him – a solace during a time of personal darkness.

Football is really just a game.

For all of the passion, romance and sense of belonging that it evokes, it is essentially just of group men, women or children kicking a ball around a patch of grass.

However, the game has a wonderful quality of giving hope, meaning and belief to those that are fortunate enough to hold it close to their hearts.

The game has always been in my life, my first word was “kick”. My Dad inflicted the long-suffering tradition of following Newcastle United upon me from a very early age. Just as his Dad did, he took me to St. James’ Park at the relatively young age of five.

That was 30 years ago last month, as I was one of the many that stood on a freezing cold Gallowgate terrace as Newcastle progressed into the Fifth Round of the FA Cup with a 5-0 hammering of Swindon Town.

Since that first experience of live football, the game has given me so many lifelong memories. I’ve visited places like Barcelona, Milan and Turin because of my love for the game.

I’ve seen a barman, a scaffolder and a newsagent make a mockery of higher-level opponents despite playing part-time football with legendary FA Cup giantkillers Blyth Spartans.

I’ve taken my own son, now three, to his first games at St. James’ Park and Croft Park. The torch has been passed on and long may it continue.

The game now provides me with an income. I write for three North-East based newspapers and the weekly Non-League Paper. Once a passion, now a job. That is something that my 8-year-old self could only dream about.

But at one point in my life, football became a haven. When I was at my lowest, it became a sanctuary, an escape from grim reality.

In 2006, at the age of 22, I got married and three years later things began to unravel. That included my own mental state. As the marriage deteriorated, my depression rose. I grew deeper and darker, not knowing what my outlook on life would be each day when I opened my eyes.

I couldn’t focus on the job I was doing at the time, the smallest action would trigger a negative response as I became a shell of a person, almost sleepwalking through every day. I was at my lowest point in my life, I was genuinely frightened and didn’t know where to turn.

There was one major positive.

I had begun coaching in youth football with a team of under-7s, taking the relevant badges and qualifications in order to satisfy the charter standard regulations that are in place. I threw myself into the courses and into planning each training session and matchday to the smallest detail.

Saturday mornings were spent watching the players enjoy themselves, become friends and develop as footballers. I stood on the touchline, completely focused on the play, my mind focused on something other than my own negativity. The games would finish and I would head home to analyse and prepare the next training session.

But then the mood would darken once again, the reality of an unhappy life would kick in. That was when I realised that football had become an escape for me.

I am fascinated when I hear my first ever football hero Paul Gascoigne talk about the pitch being his sanctuary from a life of mental-health issues. Now, the Russell Foster Youth League isn’t exactly Italia 90, nor is it playing in an Old Firm derby, but I could relate to the sentiment.

The touchline became a happy place, a place to escape and to put something positive into my life. I began to place more and more focus on coaching and took over another team within the club. All of Saturday morning was now spent coaching, with a trip to St. James’ Park or a non-league game in the afternoon.

I was putting on training sessions on three different nights and spending all day out of the house on a Saturday. The kids in the team grew older and we had some great experiences together. There were trips away to tournaments, a 4-3 win when we were 3-1 down with ten minutes left and a promotion to celebrate. We moved into the 11-a-side game, I saw them develop into young men, rather than the enthusiastic rabble that they were when I first met them.

Eventually, something had to give. The marriage ended in early 2010. Had it not, I am not sure what state I would be in today.

I continued to coach the same team and eventually I had to relinquish that role in 2012 to pursue a long-held dream of working in the media. By the time I had stood on the touchlines for one last time, I was in a very happy relationship with the amazing woman that became my wife in October last year.

Everything had changed for the better and football had helped me through the darkest passage of my life.

Now, being at a match isn’t an escape, it’s another means to happiness. It’s another positive, another step away from those dark times. Football is really just a game, but for three years it became everything it shouldn’t be.

But I am pleased that it did.

FOLLOW MARK ON TWITTER @MarkCarruthers_ AND ALSO CHECK OUT THE PODCAST HE HOSTS WHICH COVERS FOOTBALL IN THE NORTH EAST FO ENGLAND @NEFPodcast

Share19Tweet12Share5

Related Posts

Today’s Tales: The end of football as we know it (if we are lucky)
Latest

Today’s Tales: The end of football as we know it (if we are lucky)

It’s hard to deny it was a funny old week of association football. Just as we were settling down...

by Chris Darwen
April 19, 2021
426
Men in grey suits: Black lives don’t matter
Current

Men in grey suits: Black lives don’t matter

With Black Lives Matter banners adorning the otherwise empty stands of Premier League football grounds, you could be mistaken...

by Chris Allen
April 14, 2021
409
Today’s Tales: The Bielsa and Pep love-in, Spurs are Spurs, United are United and Klopp thanks Southgate
Latest

Today’s Tales: The Bielsa and Pep love-in, Spurs are Spurs, United are United and Klopp thanks Southgate

One thing, OK one of many things, we’ve been a little bit slack on this season is covering the...

by Chris Darwen
April 12, 2021
367
Football, politics and the question of values
Current

Football, politics and the question of values

‘Well one ex-follower certainly showed their true colours tonight. You f***ing Judas c**t.'   This Twitter comment, made on 18th...

by Chris Allen
April 8, 2021
760
Load More
Next Post

Winning the Hearts and Minds

The first ‘great’ world cup? : The story of Switzerland 1954 (part one)
European

The first ‘great’ world cup? : The story of Switzerland 1954 (part one)

by Pete Spencer
April 20, 2021
0
338

For many, the 1954 World Cup is seen as one of the greatest ever. It was the first one to...

Read more
The Football Pink Podcast- El Clásico de Avellaneda: Keep your enemies closer

The Football Pink Podcast- El Clásico de Avellaneda: Keep your enemies closer

April 20, 2021
338
Sunderland: The team of all talents

Sunderland: The team of all talents

April 19, 2021
402
Today’s Tales: The end of football as we know it (if we are lucky)

Today’s Tales: The end of football as we know it (if we are lucky)

April 19, 2021
426
A warm glow cuts through the snow: Everton 8 Southampton 0

A warm glow cuts through the snow: Everton 8 Southampton 0

April 16, 2021
415

© 2020 footballpink.net

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Gmail
  • Print Friendly
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Tumblr