Ever wondered what you would look like if you saw your reflection in the back of a spoon? Probably something like this. It’s….

DAVID PLATT

platt

The monotone-Manc, who was recently handed his P45 by Manchester City, was once the brightest talent in the England national team. Under Graham ‘Turnip’ Taylor this was no great achievement, especially as Paul Gascoigne spent most of this era either on crutches or on a bender. Or both. Thanks to a couple of great seasons with Aston Villa, Platt emerged as the natural box-to-box successor to Bryan Robson for the Three Lions and made his name internationally at Italia ’90. Who could forget his over-the-shoulder volley in the last minute of extra-time against Belgium, accompanied by his great big cheesy grin after being piled on by his England team mates including giddy Gary Lineker? Fame and fortune followed for the toothy midfielder with moves to Bari, Juventus, Sampdoria and Arsenal.

MARK GODFREY

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