Quick! Warn the children, it’s…..

TRIFON IVANOV

ivanov

Nicknamed “The Bulgarian Wolf”, this hairy-arsed centre-back captained his country during a 10 year reign of terror at the heart of the Bulgarian defence during the 1990’s. The combination of his tough, uncompromising style and psychotic-eastern-European-serial-killer-who-kills-and-eats-his-victims-before-wearing-their-skins-as-a-raincoat looks, terrified many a striker just as the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang used to put the shits up millions of kids. Ivanov, who favoured the short-on-top, long-at-the-back haircut so popular with footballers of the former Eastern Bloc, utilised his dead-behind-the-eyes icy stare to maximum effect at the 1994 World Cup in the USA, where Bulgaria upset the Jerries en route to finishing fourth. Well done Trifon, you creepy twat.

MARK GODFREY

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